Start of Something New

When it all began
I didn't know
it wouldn't stop

Like every pain before
I expected that
healing would start

Still I hold out
blindly hoping
for healing of the broken

Time kept moving on
in the blink of an eye
my childlike innocence
was gone

Why is this year so different
the pain more real
memories refreshed again?

All year we get ready
to celebrate Christ's birth
all year I dread
reliving a spirit's death

The past five years
have brought thousands
of unanswered questions
and inflicted many unhealed wounds
that fester in my body and soul

The urge to give up
to let it all go
is growing stronger each day
I don't know how else to find release

I don't want to simply
survive
I want to be in love with life again
Not just live but feel
alive

My wish this year
is to end the pain
and begin the start
of something new

December 8, 2006